the pant - shoe combination i'm wearing today doesn't work. i know it. my pants are too short for the shoe i'm wearing. my shoes don't look right with these pants. i know. and usually, i spend an unfortunate amount of time debating how much self confidence i actually have and how much i care or don't care on mornings like this one. but today i just know. and i probably care a little. and my self confidence is most likely at an all time "whatever."
so, i put on these pants because they were the only clean ones left that aren't memorable (a.k.a. i can wear them twice in one week without anyone noticing). and i put on these shoes because they are relatively warm and also comfortable. i think i'm just hoping that my good hair day will make up for any unfortunate glances downward.
this makes me think of relationships. really, (if you are single) you could be with anyone. you could have a significant relationship with any one person. that doesn't necessarily mean you should, however.
let's say, just for example, that you are a nice clean pair of pants. and he is, just for example, a comfortable and warm pair of shoes. apart, you are who you are. and together, it works. sort of. but it would probably be better if the pants were with a different pair of shoes and the shoes with a different pair of pants. so, it's ok the way it is. but it doesn't necessarily mean it's the best option.
i guess what i'm saying is that i don't believe there is only one person out there for you. yes, i believe God has a plan for your life, and that He knows your future more intimately than you can imagine. and so, I also believe that there is, ultimately, one person you will marry (if that's part of God's plan). at the same time, i believe there exists an oxymoronical truth that there is not just one person. that it could be anyone.
and now that i'm married, reflecting back, the fact that i believe that makes my marriage so much more wonderful. i don't have expectations for my husband to be perfect. and because of my belief that marriage is for life, and my commitment to work every day on bringing 100% of a healthy self to my marriage, i can dive in and love this imperfect man without ever wondering if he really was "the one." because i know he is. because we chose to do this marriage thing. and that's the end of it.
Agree with me?
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3 comments:
You said that beautifully; the whole oxymoronical thing. I have always believed that, but I've never been able to put it into words. And also, she knows. So funny. Because it makes me think of talking about that the other night and because I had one of those days yesterday. I actually had Mike take me home after work last night before we went out so I could change and know something different.
It's amazing how knowing and believing this makes marriage a little bit easier. I've almost always believed this too (lets face it...at one point I thought there was that one perfect guy out there...that prince), but now I know. Scott is not THE only one compatible with me, but he is the one I chose to commit myself and my life to. You put it into perfect words. Thanks!
wow Molly... I'm a writer and I couldn't put it into such as easy terms as those. I love the pants versus shoes analogy. I think there are lots of shoes that are comfortable but I am still waiting on the one to complete my ensemble so to speak.
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